Life as a stepmother is quite different from being a bio mom. Having raised two girls of my own to the current ages of 18 and 16, I can attest that stepmothering has its own unique challenges. Especially when you add all sorts of outside conflicts from a life lived before you came along. I can only imagine that sometimes plenty of women can’t help but scream into a pillow. I’ve done it myself with my own bio kids.
Venting on Social Media
Sometimes, I read through posts on social media in groups dedicated to stepmothers supporting each other through hard times. I see things of nightmares and 20/20 episodes. I see heartbreak and fear and longing. And I see loss of hope.
One of the frequent themes I see is stepmoms hurt and broken that all their efforts are done in vain. They often have no recognition from their partners (much less from the bio mom), and stepchildren that are lacking affection or even appreciation.
It’s in moments like these that stepmothers everywhere want to throw in the towel. Why in the world would we put ourselves in situations where we are constantly disrespected, belittled, and pushed aside.
Worse is when we spend the better portion of our lives raising them, caring for them, and giving them all our love, yet the government would rip them from our lives if the father were ever to pass.
Sometimes it feels as though we’re losing the battle. But remember: just because we lose the battle doesn’t mean that we’ve lost the war.
Reasons to Persevere Despite the Battles
What reasons do you have to push forward? What keeps your heart strong even on the worst days? What keeps you going?
While I personally have been lucky enough to have a great relationship with my step kids, I know that not every woman is quite so fortunate. Nonetheless, I can’t help but reflect on the why behind everything I do for them.
I do it because:
- I love their father
- I love them
- I want to raise them to be responsible adults
- I want them to be successful in life
- I want them to have the warm, loving home that they most likely didn’t have in their previous lives
- I want them to be happy
- I want to be a stepmom of integrity
I raise them as my own because they deserve the same love and care that my biological children have. Because I wouldn’t trade my kids in even on their worst days, and I wouldn’t trade my step kids in either.
A Resolution to Fight Harder for the Ones We Love
Dig deep into your heart, your soul, your motives, and your purpose. What reasons do you have to persevere despite the battles?
Despite the battles, we raise our step kids as our own, often times without thanks, appreciation, recognition, or respect.
For their best interest. Not ours.
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